Helping kids make responsible decisions is one of the most meaningful skills we can teach. After decades of working with kids, we’ve seen firsthand how these social-emotional skills empower them to face challenges, build strong relationships, and develop self-confidence. Responsible decision-making isn’t something that happens overnight—it’s a skill that grows over time, shaped by guidance from caring adults, practice, and patience. Here are five simple steps to help kids build this skill in a way that feels natural and supportive for everyone.
1. Identify the Decision at Hand
Sometimes, kids need a little help recognizing that a decision needs to be made. Identifying the choice in front of them can be the first step toward making a thoughtful choice.
For example, let’s say a child is deciding when to do their homework. They can do it in afterschool where they might have an adult to help them, they can do it as soon as they get home, or they can put it off until later that evening.
There could be factors that are playing a role in making their choice, like friends asking them to play or other distractions that might be preventing them from doing their homework. By helping them see that this is a decision they’re actively making, they start to recognize that choices are everywhere and that each one has an impact.
You might say something like, “Looks like you’re trying to decide what to do first. What do you think might be the best way to handle this?” Framing it this way allows kids to take ownership of the decision while feeling supported.
2. Weigh the Pros and Cons
Once a child has recognized that a decision needs to be made, encouraging them to think about possible outcomes can be incredibly helpful.
For instance, let’s say a child can see someone’s answers as they take a math test. They can make the choice to copy their answers, or instead, try to solve the problems by doing their own work.
You might say, “What could happen if you copy someone else’s answers? What are some positive consequences of doing your own work?” This approach lets kids see the different directions their decisions might take them, building awareness and allowing them to make more informed choices.
3. Think About How Decisions Affect Others
One of the hallmarks of responsible decision-making is considering the impact on others. By nature, kids are egocentric, seeing the world primarily through their own perspective and often assuming others share their feelings and views. While we can guide them toward a broader understanding, it’s essential to recognize that this mindset is a natural stage of their development, reflecting the way they are cognitively wired at this age.
If a child is deciding whether or not to include a friend in a game, you might ask, “How would you feel if you didn’t get invited to play?” This approach plants a seed for empathy and encourages kids to consider perspectives beyond their own. By practicing this, they’ll develop a better sense of how their choices can shape the experiences and emotions of those around them.
4. Encourage Them to Ask for Guidance
Learning that it’s okay to ask for help can make the decision-making process less daunting. Sometimes, children feel they have to figure everything out on their own, and letting them know it’s okay to talk things through with someone they trust can be reassuring.
You might offer yourself as a sounding board by saying, “Whenever you’re not sure, I’m here to talk it through with you.” It’s important to keep the conversation open and give them space to explore their thoughts. When kids feel they have a trusted support system, they’re more likely to make choices with confidence, knowing they can seek help if they get stuck.
5. Reflect on the Decision Made
After a decision has been made, taking a few moments to reflect on it can be a powerful learning tool. Reflection helps kids understand why certain choices led to certain outcomes, and it allows them to process both the successes and the challenges they encounter.
Let’s say a child decided to do their homework before playing, and they feel good about having completed it. You might say, “I noticed you got your homework done first, and it seems like you feel pretty proud of that choice.” This acknowledgment allows them to connect their actions with positive feelings, reinforcing their good decision-making.
If the decision didn’t turn out as they hoped, reflection can still be beneficial.
For example, if they played first and then rushed through homework, you could say, “What was it like doing homework quickly at the end of the day?” This type of question encourages self-assessment without judgment and helps them see how different decisions impact their experiences.
Tips for Building Decision-Making Skills into Daily Life
Opportunities to nurture student voice and choice are invaluable for building decision-making skills and fostering a sense of agency. Integrating moments for students to express their opinions, preferences, and ideas can happen naturally in everyday activities. Here are a few effective strategies:
- Discussion and Debate Prompts: Encourage open-ended discussions where students can share their viewpoints on relevant topics. Debates or reflection prompts invite them to articulate and consider diverse perspectives, helping them build confidence in their choices and communication.
- Leadership Opportunities: Provide roles and responsibilities within the classroom or group activities where students can step into leadership. By organizing a task or leading a group, they can experience the impact of their decisions firsthand and develop a stronger sense of accountability and self-direction.
- Surveys and Polls: Use surveys or quick polls to gather student input on decisions that affect them, such as selecting a project theme, choosing a group activity, or setting class goals. This inclusion not only reinforces that their voices matter but also promotes thoughtful consideration of group preferences and consensus-building.
- Choice Boards and Activity Options: Give students options in how they engage with learning activities, like working independently, in pairs, or in groups. Allowing choice in their approach encourages self-awareness as they learn what methods work best for their learning style and goals.
Creating these spaces for voice and choice cultivates a positive, collaborative learning environment where students feel valued and involved in their educational journey.
Learning to make responsible decisions is a journey that will take time, practice, and a gentle hand to guide the way. Each decision they make, big or small, helps them build confidence in their ability to handle challenges and navigate the world around them. And with a little guidance, they’ll grow into thoughtful, responsible individuals who make choices that reflect both self-awareness and consideration for others.
