Think back to the last time a student called out in class, pushed in line, or buried their head in their arms during a lesson. What was their behavior really saying? Was it simply a disruption—or was it an attempt to communicate something they couldn’t put into words?
As educators and youth-workers, we know that students’ actions often tell us more than their words. Viewing behavior through the lens of social-emotional learning (SEL) allows us to see the whole child, not just the behavior. Instead of viewing behaviors as “good” or “bad,” understanding behaviors as forms of communication can help us meet students where they are and address their true needs.
Responding to Students, Not Behaviors
When students act out or disengage, their actions can trigger strong emotional responses in adults—especially when we’re already feeling the pressures of the day. It’s easy to take these behaviors personally. However, reframing our perspective to see what the child is trying to express can lead to more effective and compassionate responses.
Why SEL Matters:
SEL encourages us to consider a student’s unique life experiences. These experiences shape their behaviors in ways that may seem puzzling at first glance but often make sense when we dig deeper.
For instance:
- A student pushing in line at lunch might have missed breakfast and is hungry. Or the student could be experiencing food insecurity.
- A student who is withdrawn or has their head down may be grappling with lack of sleep, anxiety, self-doubt, or even trauma, rather than simply showing disinterest.
- A student calling out in class without raising their hand may lack the communication skills to appropriately express their needs or may come from a home where direct self-advocacy is the norm.
- A student who is fidgety in their seat might be excited about something happening later in the day in the classroom or at home. They could also be struggling with anxiety, boredom, sensory needs, or a medical condition like ADHD.
Practical Ways to Use SEL to Understand Behavior
Shift from Reaction to Reflection
When a student’s behavior disrupts the flow of your classroom, pause and ask yourself: What is this behavior trying to tell me? This simple mental shift can turn a moment of frustration into an opportunity for connection.
Create a Safe Space for Expression
Build relationships with students that encourage them to share their feelings and needs. Tools like emotion charts, morning check-ins, or a “calm corner” provide students with non-verbal ways to communicate what they’re experiencing.
Acknowledge Life Experiences
Students may bring past experiences into the classroom—trauma, food insecurity, or cultural differences—that shape how they behave. Recognizing these influences doesn’t excuse behavior, but it helps create more effective and compassionate strategies for support.
Teach and Model SEL Skills
Skills like self-awareness, self-regulation, and communication aren’t innate; they must be taught. Explicitly teaching these skills and modeling them in your interactions gives students tools to express themselves in more constructive ways.
Why It Matters
When we respond to the student instead of reacting to the behavior, we demonstrate empathy and build trust. Over time, this approach can transform a classroom into a community where students feel safe to learn, make mistakes, and grow.
Behavior isn’t just noise or disruption—it’s communication. By using SEL as a lens to understand the whole child, we can shift our focus from correcting actions to meeting needs. And when we do that, we’re not just managing a classroom—we’re shaping confident, capable, and connected individuals.
Dive Deeper: Learn More About Trauma
Watch Lee Hilton, Performance Measurement Analyst with Wings for Kids discuss trauma and what it means to be trauma-informed in the classroom or in a youth program.
Grow Your Behavior Management Skills
See how WINGS can help you meet the social and emotional needs of the kids in your programs with virtual or in-person workshops and training sessions.
